Shout out to my Ex

Captains log: 21st October 2018

I had the local radio station on last week when I was getting ready for work and they played ‘Shout out to my Ex’ and the subsequent conversation centred around its impact on females. The radio host said that when this song was played, whether in a club, party, wedding etc, how women flooded the floor and it was like a new ‘girls only’ anthem. The successor to ‘I will survive? Who knows, only time will tell on that one. Whilst the women are chucking themselves around the dance floor, singing loudly, arms flaying, the men silently, but deliberately, slope off (presumably to the bar!)

WHAT is it about this song that gets us women on the dance floor, shedding our inhibitions and making us feel like this song is for us?

IN my experience, I don’t want to give a shout out to my ex. Why would I want to give power to somebody from my past?

TO give them that power; wouldn’t that mean that we are still hung up on them?

ARE we happy for others to see our anger or that these past ‘loves’ still impact our lives?

DO we really want to carry this negative energy with us?

I have been married twice…there will be no more, but that’s a different story.

HUSBAND number one: Would I give a shout out to him? No. Why would I want to? He wasn’t a terrible person or a horrible husband. Our marriage lasted 2 years. Yes, it was me who decided that I no longer wanted to be in that marriage, but it didn’t end in recriminations, nor was it acrimonious in any way and whilst I haven’t seen him since the day I left, he and I both moved on and I know that he is once again married with a child and I truly hope he is happy. Sometimes, marriages come to an end for the right reasons.

MY first ended because I could never be who he needed me to be and visa versa. Letting each other go and doing it through love meant that we were both free to find what we wanted. OMFG that sounds a little like Gwynny & Chris and their famous “uncoupling’. I’m sorry, I won’t do that again.

WHY do we give power to negative relationships? Surely, if something ends it was for a reason. The Mum of an old friend used to say, “if it’s not bad, it wouldn’t end”. How true is that? Fundamentally, something is wrong, or wouldn’t you would still be a pair of happy clappers together? Don’t you want to be in a better/healthier relationship? Perhaps you are the one who walked away and if so, did you cry because it was over? Why are you crying over something you didn’t want? If you/they cheated, isn’t that the biggest indicator of all that you/they aren’t wanted? The relationship wasn’t worth working on.

MOVING on, I got married again, even I’m rolling my eyes. Husband number 2 was, is and probably always will be a complete and utter Twunt.

WOULD I give a shout out to him? Would I fuck?!

MY journey (oh I’m going to bore you stupid) is about finding myself and part of that must be to let go of anger and to forgive.

SO here it is. Twunt. I am no longer angry at you. You don’t deserve that accolade, nor does it fulfil me in anyway. You no longer have any power over me. Marriage number 2 is on me. I ignored the signs. I brushed his narcissistic tendencies under the table.
I gave him the power to make me unhappy.

I gave him the power to treat me like his subordinate (he ACTUALLY referred to me once as his subordinate – just FYI, it wasn’t the time I punched him straight in his pearly whites).

ALL of that is on me. For staying when I should have left.

BUT he ‘gave’ me something that made my time with him worthwhile. My boys. And for that, I am GRATEFUL.

FRANKLY, Twunt you are somebody’s else’s problem now and for that I am GRATEFUL.

DO I forgive you? Yeah. I forgive you because who and what you are means nothing to me anymore and for that… I am GRATEFUL.

AM I still angry at you? No, I’m not, fuck you very much. And for that, you guessed it, I am GRATEFUL.

AM I going to give a shout out to my ex?

IN anger? Like fuck I am….and you shouldn’t either under those circumstances.

NOBODY defines me. Only I have that power.

BIG SNOGS
Kitty xxx