CAPTAINS LOG: 10th March 

FRIDAY was International Women’s Day…fabulous right? Isn’t it just so fabulous that we need a dedicated day to remind ourselves that we are capable and worthy of our world?   Yeah…fabulous!  

DON’T get me wrong, I have no issue with celebrating it and  I love seeing women support women and feeling proud but it pisses me off that we have to have a defined day to be appreciated for what we bring to society and industry.

DO we actually need a day?  In an ideal world we wouldn’t but our society still has a very limited space for equality.  Women make a massive, and equal, contribution to the world and regardless of that, we seem to be going backwards.  Look who walked before us…Cleopatra (looking atcha!), Zenobia, Joan of Arc, Indira Ghandi, Hatshepsut, Catherine the Great, Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Victoria…jeez, they must be spinning in their respective graves.  

I don’t know any woman who has a daughter, that is not bringing her up to believe that she can do anything.  Because she can.  But when I look around the High Street, it’s depressing.  Retailers and designers produce clothing for little girls that wouldn’t look out of place hanging around a strippers’ pole.  Now I have nothing against strippers….there was a time when I actually wanted to be one but me and poles is just a recipe for disaster. I can barely walked down the street in my trainers let alone gyrating on stage in 6 inch heels.

BUT strippers are strippers and little girls should be little girls.  The little girls of today become the women of our tomorrow and this is what we give them?  Last year, when I was Christmas shopping for my boys’ little sister I was genuinely aghast  at the options available to me.  Their sister is four and a half.  A little girl.   Jeez, I’m not saying only dress your girls in hob-nailed boots and dungarees (unless they want to) but do they need to only produce clothing which perpetuates an already out of control view and subsequent treatment of girls?  I am neither for nor against dressing however you want but I do think that kids today grow up so fast and lose their childhoods so quickly that at least there should be a choice to dress them age appropriately.

THE problem is we are not encouraging our girls to respect themselves.  We are still letting our girls be told they are the weaker sex.  And we are selling them conflicting stories.   

MY Dad always told me never to put myself in a position of weakness.  Take responsibility for myself and if I had a daughter I would tell her the same. Trust me, I’ll be saying it to Beavis & Butthead too.  If you are going to walk through a park at 1am the morning you are putting yourself in potential danger.  We understand that this SHOULDN’T be the case.  We understand that we SHOULD be safe doing this.  Its about making an educated decision and sorry, but you’ve got to be a special kind of idiot to do that to yourself.   

YEARS ago, on my first solo visit to New York, I wandered off the beaten track and managed to get myself well and truly lost.  To this day I have no idea where I ended up but of one thing I can be sure. My gut instinct was screaming at me to get the hell out of dodge and I didn’t stop and think  ‘hang on, surely, it’s my right to walk where I want to in this city?’.  It doesn’t ‘hurt’ my feelings that I probably wasn’t safe.  I had to be responsible for me.  

IF you don’t like the fact that you can’t always wander wherever you wish to, at least put yourself in a position of power.  Take up Krav Maga.  At least if anybody tries to hurt you, you’ll give  yourself a fighting chance to kick their arse.  Don’t bloody whinge that it’s not fair .  

LETS take the #metoo movement.  Nobody can take away the pain, suffering and trauma women have suffered at the hands of those who believe it to be their right to hurt or degrade whomever they wish.  Rape is rape.  End of story.  Attacks on women are and unfortunately probably always will be, part of  life.  When the #metoo hit the fan my first thought was how can this still be a thing?  And fuck me, worse was to come.  There were those who jumped on the bandwagon and took away the importance and impact it should have on the world.  Because there will always be those who ‘want’ to look like a victim versus those who actually had to endure something horrific.  For every one of those so-called victims, they take away the devastation and ongoing trauma that real ‘victims’ go through.   Want the world to disregard #metoo?  That’ll do it.

I personally loved the comment by Julia Hartley-Brewer “Both knees still intact.  Get a grip, people” in response to insisting that she was not a victim (when Sir Michael Fallon touched her knee).  No, she told him that she’d ‘punch him in the face if he did it again….Go on Ju! 

I admire lots of women, for many different reasons. I work in a female dominated environment.  And the women I know work their arses off.  A lot of them also have families and shock, horror, they still get shit done.  But I don’t believe we are any more special or conversely, less deserving than men.  I honestly believe we are equal and because of that, I don’t need a day to celebrate what I am.    

BUT in the spirit of International Women’s Day , I’m going to give a massive shout out to women I know who are rocking their own worlds! 

I am very happy to recommend the following small, locally run businesses.  These women have started their ‘empires’ with nothing…no funding or backing, just hard work and self promotion…which is never easy.  

In no particular order other than a 5-star recommendation from me….

Jodie’s Dog Grooming, Pet walking and Sitting – Facebook 

@sketchesbygeorge (Instagram)  bespoke hand drawn or painted artwork & cards (think Mothers Day) 

Butterflies Nail Sanctuary – Facebook (based in Chelmsford)

@Lashesbylauralu – Lash Artist (Instagram) 

Melanie Alder Photography – www.melaniealder.co.uk – portrait/editorial/pet/boudoir 

Alixe’s Mobile Hairdressing  – Facebook

Balloonique Essex  Facebook or Instagram @ballooniqueessex 

Lorna Coleman – Mindset expert – Anxiety & Stress Busting with Hypnotherapy.  www.lornacoleman.co.uk

Papecutes – handmade framed papercut gifts www.etsy.com/shop/PapercutesShop

OH and for the record….Michael, my Dad, is still probably the greatest feminist I have ever known.  I’ll leave you with a couple of kick-arse quotes…enjoy!

“Feminism isn’t about making women stronger.  Women are already strong.  It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength”.  G.D. Anderson

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet” Modaresa Najumi

BIG SNOGS

Kitty xxx

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