Captains log: 11th November

THERE are/have been some amazing men in my life and today, Remembrance Sunday, I will tell you about them. They are important to me for various reason. I either love them, loved them, admire them, am inspired and entertained by them but mainly I’m just really grateful to have had them in my life, to have had a connection in my life. But the beginning sounds like a joke. Several men walk into a life….3 Christians, an Atheist, two Jews, 2 Muslims and 2 ‘Irish’ men.

AH the legend that is Michael. When I was little and everybody was bigger than me, this man, he was a giant. At his very essence, a bit like authentic rock has Blackpool or Brighton running through it, Michael has protection. The man should have been part of the Secret Service such was/is the levels of protection. Some examples of SSPS….

WHEN the boys’ and I moved into this house, Michael didn’t ‘think’ that the windows and doors were safe enough. There was nothing wrong with said windows and doors but they were not up to Secret Service Protection Standards (known henceforth as SSPS and NOT to be taken lightly). Within a week, all windows/door had been changed to SSPS.

CIRCA 1994, 5.30am on a cold, icy morning, I got into my little Peugeot 106 ready for my morning drive to Old Street, London. As I rounded the corner, which ran parallel to the back of our house, a guy jumped out and started waving at me. One thought instantly went through my head as I saw the two cars up ahead, one wrapped round a lamp post and the other wrapped around the firsts’ bumper….ICE!!! Then my second thought hit, Michael’s words ‘if you ever start hitting black ice, turn the wheel into it, not away’ and yep, I was the only car that didn’t end up wrapped around anybody, instead came to a rather nice stop. Looking right out of my drivers window I saw Michael, running down the alley in his dressing gown. Oh ye of little faith Michael. The look of relief on his face was palpable. Then he told me I wasn’t driving anywhere (SSPS) and I told him I was (Stroppy Bitch 101).

I grew up on an estate. Walk 100 yards to the left of our house, was my paternal Nan’s house. Carry on another 70 yards and you reached the turning of my maternal grandparents road. To walk from our house to my maternal Grandparents house would take a grand total of 4 minutes. Now I didn’t walk there in the dark (only in winter) but no matter what time of day it was, when I arrived I had to give my parents (they are both in on this only Michael is a tad more pro-active in SSPS) three rings to let them know I had arrived. Oh and it worked in reverse too. Is it any wonder my boys’ think I’m over-protective? IT’S WHAT I KNOW PEOPLE.

I love this man. He ability to love, protect, provide and care for his family is second to none. He is my Dad. And I am beyond grateful for that.

THE Unsung Hero: Jeez, when they were giving out Godfathers’ I got the very best (don’t bother trying to fight me on this one; you won’t win). My Godfather was the loveliest of all. Kind, caring, supportive, loving and very brave. He endured his time as a POW in Korea that even your worst nightmares can’t comprehend. And he never spoke of those days. He was dignified and great integrity. He was a master carpenter/joiner. The man could literally make anything from wood. As a human being, he was exceptional and we were blessed to have him in our lives. I was blessed to call him my Godfather.

THE Dancing Man. Oh how I loved this man. His encouragement through my dancing years was full on, attentive and supportive in every way. He was my very favourite dancing partner. A quiet man who didn’t ask for much from life and lived it simply. I love that he never had a takeaway, never ate a bag of crisps, walked everywhere and didn’t retire till he was in his 80’s, such was his good health. After watching a man on Speakers Corner when he was young, he rarely drank alcohol. The ‘speaker’ had two buckets. One with a healthy liver in it and one with a liver of a man who died of Cirrhosis. Ernie was horrified at this. And maybe it seems extreme to not be a drinker after seeing this, but the truth is long before ‘clean eating’ became a thing, that’s how he chose to live his life and he told me the Speakers Corner story on more than one occasion. He lived a long life. Clean. Kind. Simple. He was my Grandad and he was the best.

THE Man who followed his Dream: A long time ago, I lived in Israel. At the time, there were quite a few of us and we had youth on our side. We were given a ‘leader’, who was a member of our Kibbutz. He was a great guy. Bit of hippy but hey, why live on a Kibbutz and be conventional? He took us all over the place. Let us run riot sometimes, but at the heart of it, we all held him in great affection and respected him. When you are in a different country with different rules to your own, its good to have a person like that. Today, he is a man who followed his dream. He is an artist. And what an artist he is. He creates the most incredible art through sculpture, working with materials that are both inventive as they are unique and following his art, for me, is a joy. He has aged. But haven’t we all. But he still has that twinkle in his eye and a pure zest for life that you can’t put a label on. I admire him and inspired by him.

THE Inspirational Boss. I started working for him when I was 21. At the time he ran the UK/London Office of an international charity. We made for an odd couple. He was a 60+ year old father of four. VERY posh…oh so posh. He was also the fairest man I had ever met. He didn’t give a stuff about where you came from as long as you did a good job. He gave me the most incredible opportunity. I was always a bit of an ‘unofficial shop steward’…whenever the people wanted a message to be sent to management, I became the delivery guy. So we had a rather unique relationship. The powers that be (in the US) needed an International team put together to write training manuals that could be used in our field offices (like Burkina Faso / Sierra Leone / Mali) and they asked for nominees from each of the regional countries. And he picked me. ME!!!! I got to travel A LOT. I got to meet the most interesting, amazing people, some of who influenced the most prominent people on the planet. I got to be with these people and here’s the odd thing; I never once felt out of my depth. I listened, I watched and I admired. But my boss? He was the one I admired the most. For him I am grateful.

THE Beardy Maverick. Oh you know how to rock the boat, you lovely bearded Mav you. One half of a well loved double act. The other half is just as important but sadly, I can’t include her cos she ain’t no man. Beardy one is the most unconventional boss I’ve ever had, and trust me, I’ve had a lot of jobs. He’s one of kind. Funny, sarcastic, clever, outspoken, irreverent, charming and doesn’t give a shit whether you love or loathe him but when he has your back, he has your back. He is also a terrible judge of character but everybody has their flaws right? He’s a hell of a business man but it’s not his business prowess that I love him for. Its the man himself that I love. I don’t run in his circles. I probably wouldn’t know where to begin. But he makes me feel like family. And that is pretty special. He is a fabulous story-teller; a proper orator is hard to find these days. He likes to spin a story, embellish where he can but who cares about facts when it’s so entertaining? And he makes a mean G & T…just another reason to love him.

THE Man who made my Babies: This guy. This guy made me a promise. He told me one day I would have my own babies and he wasn’t wrong. He was incredibly funny and when you are getting ‘probed’ on the regular, trust me when I say you need a laugh. He has helped thousands of couples become parents, is one of the most respected consultants in the country, often appears on television to speak on the topic and I was so lucky to have had him make my babies in that Petri dish. You, sir, are my hero.

THE C-Section Man: Oh Mr R, you charming Egyptian you! What a lovely man. My respect and gratitude for this man is off the scale. Mr R was my consultant when I was pregnant and whilst I know it was his job to look after me, I always felt that he went the extra mile. But do you know why this man will always be so special to me? It’s because he lifted my babies out of my body. He was the first person to hold each of my sons’. His care of me during my pregnancy was outstanding. He looked after me every step of the way. And I am glad he was with me till the very end of my journey. I sometimes see him coming out of Mosque on a Friday and he always smiles and waves. He will always remain a very important man in my life.

COFFEE Man: When the boys’ were born I would walk FOR MILES each and every day. I used to stop off for a coffee. This man would warm the boys’ bottles then come over to where I was sitting, take one baby and feed him whilst I fed the other. He sat with me when I cried. Made me laugh. He was my friend. We had nothing in common, you know, him being from Egypt and all but there were days when I swear, I couldn’t have survived without him. Whenever we see each other, normally in the street, we always stop to say hi. He always asks after the boys. He now has his own children. He’s a good one. For him I am grateful.

GAME for a Laugh Man: Oh this one makes me laugh like a loon. He bloody loves life. This one is no spring chicken but he still parties like it’s 1999. His bat-shit crazy antics are sometimes just too much to deal with. He is currently ‘pimping’ up the Tuk Tuk he bought a few years ago and is going after a place in the Guinness Book of World Records….for the fastest Tuk Tuk. For those who may be interested, the current record is a whopping 68mph. And he will put his heart and soul into it. In the town where he lives he started a group, via Social Media, to get local people to help others by promoting random acts of kindness. Sounds so simple doesn’t it? But in a world where we feel we are just trying to survive, its not easy getting people to give up their time or skills for free. It is an amazing success. And at the heart of it, is this man, with his madcap ways and bigger than Texas personality. He is one of a kind (thankfully) and whilst he has responsibilities, he really doesn’t take life to seriously. I really admire him for that. He thinks he’s “Irish’ and is related to the one below.

MY Boy: Who knew that the 11 year kid who also didn’t know anybody else in that class but spotted an empty chair next to me on our first day at senior school in the first lesson would end up being my love? Trust me, I had no idea. I always say to him we were meant to happen at this time and not before as I would NEVER have been able to handle him. The watered-down with age version is enough for me thanks! We have ups and downs like everybody else and occasionally, each of us throw our toys out of the pram but he’s mine and I’m his. Even when he doesn’t agree with me, he has my back and it works both ways. Loyalty is paramount to both of us as is trust. I trust him with my life. We also have something quite unique in our relationship and that is we get the very best of each other because we don’t live with each other lives; just alongside each other. We don’t live together because WE don’t want to. We won’t get married because WE don’t want to. But we will grow old together because that’s what WE want. Regardless of what he ever tells you….I did not fancy him at school and don’t let him tell you I did. Oh and he’s the other ‘Irish’ one but that’s a whole different story.

ONE day I hope somebody looks at my boys with the same love/admiration that I do with these men.

SO on today, Remembrance Sunday, lets not just remember the fallen but the fallen from all walks of life who have been lost in any form of War, regardless of race or religion. Because if I can have the Christians, the Atheist, the Jews, the Muslims and the Irish ones as some of the most admirable people in my life, so can you. It doesn’t matter if you are black, white or pink with dark blue spots. You are human. Your fellow man is human. We should value the lives of those who connect with ours and remind them and ourselves of why they are important to us.

BIG SNOGS
Kitty XXX